A Blog About Punching People In the Face


In Thoughts by Tyson on November 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

It is after a glorious night, after cracking poetry among unselfish mates, that the black dog creeps back in. Last year, after my friends threw me a party, I was so depressed that I could barely get out of bed for a month.

Choose your own adventure

In Thoughts by Tyson on November 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I do not normally get political, but here it goes. Republican pollsters are having a difficult time of it: they failed anticipate by how much their candidates were losing. It appears that up, until election day, many losers believed that they were ahead. They were surprised and confused when many of their candidates, including the one running for president, lost.

The problem for Republicans is that they have not taken their worldview to its logical conclusion. Republicans have become so adept at creating their own reality that they should no longer feel bound to live outside of it. Creating one’s own reality represents the penultimate pinnacle of human achievement — this is the stuff the religion is made of, the balm that soothes the pangs of self-doubt and fear that seizes all sentient creatures.

The ultimate achievement is to transcend the reality you have created and so occupy the final state, hyperconsciousness, which has no room for the deluded brand of reality offered by Fox News. But this is not easy to do (for a guide on how to reach hyper-consciousness, please stay tuned for my upcoming manual).

I do not condemn Republicans in general because I suspect that hyperconsciousness is not for everyone. For those who live in fear, there can only be the next religion, the next rapture, the next holy war. An incomplete understanding of the universe necessarily divides reality into right and wrong, truth and falsity, good and evil. For some, this is the only way to cope, and we should not begrudge those afflicted with such hobgoblins.

On December 22 of this year, there will be many people wondering why the world did not end. Some of these people will find an escape hatch: they will shift their versions of reality to meet the one that just crushed their own cosmology. Perhaps the world really did end, it is just that the afterlife looks a lot like the life that came before it, et cetera.  For a certain set, these reactions are reasonable.  So let’s cut the Republicans a little slack — the world is a scary place. They’re just trying to adapt as best they know how.

On being a lizard

In Thoughts by Tyson on November 5, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Today I looked out my window and saw a bird with a lizard hanging from its beak. The lizard was still alive but had since gone limp. Perhaps it had accepted its fate and was preparing to be consumed. At that moment I wondered what it must feel like to be a lizard, to be caught in the mouth of such a terrible thing.  Then I wondered whether birds can feel empathy. I have a friend who says that our empathy is proof that we are “touched by God.” But I wonder if our empathy is nothing more than the byproduct of a full stomach: hunger, perhaps, has a way of ravaging empathy. Still, I am haunted by the vacant stare of avian eyes. I do not have a good sense of  what’s behind them — my fear is that there is nothing there but the synaptic firings of a machine in search of food.