A Blog About Punching People In the Face

Archive for 2012|Yearly archive page

Cracking

In Thoughts by Tyson on November 16, 2012 at 8:49 pm

It is after a glorious night, after cracking poetry among unselfish mates, that the black dog creeps back in. Last year, after my friends threw me a party, I was so depressed that I could barely get out of bed for a month.

Choose your own adventure

In Thoughts by Tyson on November 11, 2012 at 9:39 pm

I do not normally get political, but here it goes. Republican pollsters are having a difficult time of it: they failed anticipate by how much their candidates were losing. It appears that up, until election day, many losers believed that they were ahead. They were surprised and confused when many of their candidates, including the one running for president, lost.

The problem for Republicans is that they have not taken their worldview to its logical conclusion. Republicans have become so adept at creating their own reality that they should no longer feel bound to live outside of it. Creating one’s own reality represents the penultimate pinnacle of human achievement — this is the stuff the religion is made of, the balm that soothes the pangs of self-doubt and fear that seizes all sentient creatures.

The ultimate achievement is to transcend the reality you have created and so occupy the final state, hyperconsciousness, which has no room for the deluded brand of reality offered by Fox News. But this is not easy to do (for a guide on how to reach hyper-consciousness, please stay tuned for my upcoming manual).

I do not condemn Republicans in general because I suspect that hyperconsciousness is not for everyone. For those who live in fear, there can only be the next religion, the next rapture, the next holy war. An incomplete understanding of the universe necessarily divides reality into right and wrong, truth and falsity, good and evil. For some, this is the only way to cope, and we should not begrudge those afflicted with such hobgoblins.

On December 22 of this year, there will be many people wondering why the world did not end. Some of these people will find an escape hatch: they will shift their versions of reality to meet the one that just crushed their own cosmology. Perhaps the world really did end, it is just that the afterlife looks a lot like the life that came before it, et cetera.  For a certain set, these reactions are reasonable.  So let’s cut the Republicans a little slack — the world is a scary place. They’re just trying to adapt as best they know how.

On being a lizard

In Thoughts by Tyson on November 5, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Today I looked out my window and saw a bird with a lizard hanging from its beak. The lizard was still alive but had since gone limp. Perhaps it had accepted its fate and was preparing to be consumed. At that moment I wondered what it must feel like to be a lizard, to be caught in the mouth of such a terrible thing.  Then I wondered whether birds can feel empathy. I have a friend who says that our empathy is proof that we are “touched by God.” But I wonder if our empathy is nothing more than the byproduct of a full stomach: hunger, perhaps, has a way of ravaging empathy. Still, I am haunted by the vacant stare of avian eyes. I do not have a good sense of  what’s behind them — my fear is that there is nothing there but the synaptic firings of a machine in search of food.

Insomnia

In Thoughts by Tyson on August 27, 2012 at 3:48 am

I have been struggling under a wicked bout of insomnia. Nothing can tame it. I lie awake and listen to the clock ticking. Last night I found myself wondering, at 3 o’clock in the morning, what it would be like to be mauled by pit bulls. Such musings are not conducive to sleep.

Things I saw III

In Thoughts by Tyson on June 20, 2012 at 1:30 am

Today I went to a farm. I saw a little dog just sitting there along the road.

Hate

In Thoughts by Tyson on June 19, 2012 at 6:33 am

Things I saw II

In Thoughts by Tyson on June 19, 2012 at 2:48 am

Today I went to a seminary and saw this Jesus.

Things I saw

In Thoughts by Tyson on June 10, 2012 at 2:57 am

Today I saw a man playing a piece of wood as if it were a guitar.

At a bar in South America

In Thoughts by Tyson on June 8, 2012 at 10:31 am

It is lonely, being the only one in the bar, though I suppose that this condition is to be expected when one hits the bars at 1 o’clock in the afternoon. I am in an Irish bar in South America and, having ordered a Guinness, I learn that such libations are only available in cans — not a sin, in and of itself (one cannot be too orthodox in South America).

My bartender is surly and views me with suspicion. The bar has imported the same noxious playlist that blares from many a fake Irish bar around the world. Also, the complimentary popcorn is stale and may have given me herpes.

What is worse, though I began this day flush with purpose, I have since lost steam, likely a result of the six glasses of wine and wholly unsatisfactory (and largely unconsumed) lunch.

This is easily the most depressing bar I have been to. Also, my Guinness smells like fish. I am sad.

I do not pay attention

In Thoughts by Tyson on June 8, 2012 at 9:55 am

Today I went to an art school — I did this because I would like to become an artist. The school was far away and I had to walk through a lot of neighborhoods that I had never been to before, even though I have lived in this city for several years.

The thing I remember most about today was walking over a skywalk. There were hundreds of people on this skywalk because it was the only place you could use to cross the four lane highway. The highway was stuck in wall-to-wall traffic.

As I walked by the overpass there was an old black man playing the drums. I think he was blind, and ironically — for a drummer — he had little sense of rhythm. He was drumming for money, and most people — everyone, really — walked past him without paying much attention. That is the price of being a drummer without any rhythm, I suppose.