A Blog About Punching People In the Face

Archive for January, 2012|Monthly archive page


In Thoughts by Tyson on January 12, 2012 at 1:06 am


On cat turds

In Thoughts by Tyson on January 10, 2012 at 12:02 am

Mr. Tyson likes stories about poop as much as the next guy, therefore he took note when NY Federal District Court Judge Jed Rakoff issued an injunction against Clorox after it ran a commercial claiming to have “proven” that its product was superior at removing poo-smell. A competitor sued on the grounds that Clorox’s odor-measuring methodology was flawed. Judge Rakoff agreed, stating that the defendants could not “reasonably support the necessary implication that Clorox’s litter outperforms [the plaintiff’s] products in eliminating odor in cat litters…Clorox sealed the jars of cat waste for twenty-two to twenty-six hours before subjecting them to testing. In actual practice, however, cats do not seal their waste…”

Mr. Tyson disagrees — cats can and do seal their own waste, and he expects this decision to be overturned.

This cat is pooping

The right to bear arms

In Thoughts by Tyson on January 9, 2012 at 11:29 pm

This bear ate Nazis

Mr. Tyson applauds a Scottish trust’s recent announcement that it is building a statue honoring a six-foot bear that fought alongside Polish freedom fighters in World War II. The bear, whose name was “Wojtek,” transported ammunition and may have been fed Nazis. He died in an Edinburgh zoo in 1963. Said the zookeeper: “He was to [the soldiers] hope on legs, a trusted comrade who lived for them. He only knew soldiers, so he thought he was a soldier.”

If a panda poops in the woods…

In Thoughts by Tyson on January 9, 2012 at 11:19 pm

Kudos to NPR’s Robert Krulwich who has provided this interesting nugget — a copy of the field notes composed by researcher Robert Schaller who, in the name of science, meticulously tracked and cataloged the bowel movements of a wild panda. Mr. Tyson thought he was having a bad day until he read this.

From the birth canal of your imagination

In Thoughts by Tyson on January 4, 2012 at 4:21 am

Mr. Tyson has just watched a video clip of the above cartoon entitled The Thief and the Cobbler that was apparently in production for some 25 years before the studio yanked the financing. Each frame of this was drawn by hand. Damn.